Stuff Kannada movies used to say

This is a compilation of some typical dialogues we used to hear in old Kannada films, some have been repeated in many movies, some not many times, but these are the one which have stuck in my head till now,there maybe many more if so do let me know if I have missed any,read on and enjaaaay maadi

Stuff Kannada movies used to say:

1) ಅಯ್ಯೂೊ ಅಯ್ಯೂೊ ಅಯ್ಯೂೊ ಮನೆಹಾಳಿ

2)ಕತ್ತೆ ಬಡವ ಎಷ್ಟೋ ಧೈರ್ಯ ನಿನಗೆ

3)ಹತ್ರಾ ಬರ್ಬೇಡ ನೋಡು ಹೇಳ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೀನಿ ಹತ್ರಾ ಬರ್ಬೇಡ

4)ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್ ಪ್ರಾಣಾ ಉಲಿಸ್ಬಿಡಿ ಡಾಕ್ಟರ್

5)ಬುಟ್ಟ್ ಬುಡಿ ಬುದ್ಧಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ್ ದಮ್ಮಯ್ಯ ಅಂತೀನಿ

6)ಅವರನ್ನ ಎನ್ ಮಾಡ್ಬೇಡಿ,ನನ್ನ ಮಾಂಗಲ್ಯಾಣಾ ಕಾಪಾಡಿ

7)ನಿಮ್ಮ ಕಾಲ್ಮುಗಿದು ಕೇಳ್ಕೊತೀನಿ ದಯವಿಟ್ಟು ಇಲ್ಲ ಅಂತ ಮಾತ್ರ ಹೇಳ್ಬೇಡಿ

8)ತಾಯಿ ಇಲ್ಲದ ತಬ್ಬಲಿ ನಾನು

9)ಈ ಟಿಶ್ ಪಿಶ್ ಟಿಶ್ ಅಂತ ಇಂಗ್ಲೀಶಲಿ ಮಾತಾಡ್ಬೇಡಿ, ನನಗೂ ಇಂಗ್ಲೀಶ್ ಬರುತ್ತೆ ನಾನೂ ಎಮ್ ಎ ಫರ್ಸ್ಟ್ ಕ್ಲಾಸ್ ಅಲ್ಲಿ ಪಾಸ್ ಅದವ್ನು

10)ಯಾರಮ್ಮ ನಿನಗೆ ಎ ಥರ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದು, ಬರೀ ಹೆಸರ್ ಹೇಳು, ಈ ಜಗತ್ತು ಮೇಲೆ ಕೆಳಗಾದ್ರೂ ಸರಿ ಅವನ್ನ ಹುಡಿಕೊಂಡ್ ಬರ್ತೀನಿ

11)ಅಲ್ವೋ ಮನೆಲಿ ವಯಸ್ಸಿಗೆ ಬಂದ ಒಂದು ತಂಗಿ ಇದ್ದಾಳೆ ಅನ್ನೋ ಪರಿಜ್ಞಾನನು ಬೇಡ ನಿನಗೆ?

12)ಯಾಕೆ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಲಿ ಯಾರ್ ತಾಂಗಿ ಇಲ್ವಾ?

13)ರಾಯರೇ ಆದಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ನೀಸ್ಚಿತಾರ್ಥ ಇಟ್ಕೊಳ್ಳೋಣ, ಮದುವೆ ಆದಷ್ಟು ಬೇಗ ನಡೆದೊ ಬಿಡ್ಲಿ

14)ತಾಂಬೂಲ ಬದ್ಲಾಯಿಸಿ ಬಿಡಿ

15)ಅನಾಥೆ ಆಗಿದ್ದ ನನಗೆ ಒಂದು ಆಸರೆ ಅಂತ ಕೊಟ್ರಲ್ಲಾ? ನಿಮಗೆ ನಾ ಚಿರ ಋಣಿ

16)ಕಾಲೇಜ್‌ಗೆ ಓದಕ್ಕ್ ಬರ್ತಿರೋ ಯೆನ್ ಉಡಾಫೆ ಮಾಡಕ್ಕೆ ಬರ್ತಿರೋ?

17)ಓ ಬೂ ಚೆನ್ನಾಗೈತೆ

18)ವಸೀ ಬಾರ್ಲಾ ಇಲ್ಲಿ

19) ಯಕ್ಕೋ ವಸಿ ಬರ್ತೀಯಾ ಇಲ್ಲಿ

20)ನನ್ನ ಹೊಟ್ಟೆಯಲ್ಲಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಮಗು ಬೆಳೀತಾ ಇದೆ

21)ನನ್ನ್ ಮುಂದೆ ಮಾತಾಡೊ ಧರ್ಯ ಬಂತಾ ನಿನಗೆ?

22)ಅವರು ಎಲ್ಲಿದ್ದಲ್ಲೋ ಹೇಂಗಿದಲ್ಲೋ ಆ ಪರಮಾತ್ಮನಿಗೆ ಗೊತ್ತು

23)ನಿಂದು ಬರ ಬರ್ತಾ ಆತಿ ಆಯಿತು

24)ನಮ್ಮ ಮಾನ ಮರ್ವಾದೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಹರಾಜ್ ಹ್ಯಾಕ್‌ಬೈಟೆಲೊ, ಇನ್ನು ನಮ್ಮ ಗೌರಿಗೆ ಯಾರ್ ಗಂಡ್ ಕೊಡ್ತಾರೆ?

25)ನೋಡಕ್ಕೆ ಸಾಕ್ಷಾತ್ ಮಹಾಲಕ್ಷ್ಮಿ ಥರ ಕಾಣ್ತಿದ್ದೀಯಾ

26)ಭಯ ಪಡಬೆಕ್ಕಾಗಿಲ್ಲ ಅವರು ಬೇಗನೆ ಗುಣವಾಗ್ತಾರೆ

27)ಯಲಾ ಕುನ್ನಿ

28)ಏಯಿ ಯಾರ್ ಜತೆ ಚಕ್ಕಂದ ಆಡ್ತಿದ್ದಿ ಎ ಬೊಗಳೆ?

29)ತಲೆ ನೇ ಕೆಳಗೆ ಹಾಕೊ ಹಾಂಗೆ ಮಾಡ್ಬಿಟ್ಟಿ ಅಲ್ಲೋ

30)ಕುತ್ತೆ ಕನ್ವರ್ ನಹಿ ಕನ್ವರ್‌ಲಾಲ್ ಬೋಲೋ

31)ಬೈ ದ ಬೈ

32)ದೇಹಾ ಬೆಳೆದಿದೆ ಹೊರ್ತು ಬುದ್ಧಿ ಮಾತ್ರ ಬೆಳದಿಲ್ಲ

33)ಎನ್ ಕಿಲಾಡಿನಾ ನೀನು?

34)ನೀನ್ ಮಾಡಿರೋ ಸಹಾಯನ ಈ ಜನುಮದಲ್ಲಿ ಮರೆಯಲ್ಲ

35)ನಾನ್ ನಿನಗ್ ಎನ್ ಕೆಟ್ಟ ಮಾಡಿದೆ ಅಂತ ಹಿಂಗ್ ಚಿತ್ರ ಹಿಂಸೆ ಕೊಡ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದೀಯಾ

36)ದ್ರೋಹಿ ಅನ್ನ ಹಾಕಿದ್ದ ಧಣಿಗೆ ದ್ರೋಹ ಬಗಿತಿ ಏನೋ?

37)ಹುಡುಗಿ ಲಕ್ಷಣವಾಗಿ ಇದ್ದಾಳೆ,ರೂಪವಂತೆ ಗುಣವಂತೆ ನೋಡಾಕೆ ಸಾಕ್ಷಾತ್ ಮಹಾಲಕ್ಷ್ಮಿ ಥರ ಇದ್ದಾಳೆ

38)ಈ ಕೊಲೆಗೂ ನನಗೂ ಯಾವ ಸಂಬಂಧ ಇಲ್ಲ ಇನ್ಸ್‌ಪೆಕ್ತಾರ್.

39)ನೀನು ಹೆಣ್ಣಲ್ಲ ಕಣೆ, ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ವೇಷದಲ್ಲಿ ಬಂದಿರೋ ಪಿಶಾಚಿ.

40)ಹೋರ್ಗಡೆ ಇಂದ ಬಂದಿದ್ದೀರಾ ಆಯಾಸ ಆಗಿರ್ಬೇಕು,ಏನಮ್ಮ ಕುಡಿಯಕ್ಕೆ ಸ್ವಲ್ಪ ನೀರು ತೊಗಾಂಡ್ ಬಾ

41)ನೀನು ಮನುಷ್ಯನಾ ಮೃಗನಾ?

42)ಆ ಭಗವಂತ ಒಂದಲ್ಲ ಒಂದ್ ದಿನ ನಿನಗೆ ಪಾಠ ಕಲಿಸ್ತಾನೆ

43)ಒಂದು ಹೆಣ್ಣಿನ ಮನಸ್ಸು ನಿಮ್ಗೆಲ್ಲಿ ಅರ್ಥ ಆಗುತ್ತೆ?

44)ಹುಡುಗ ಒಳ್ಳೆ ಕೆಲಸದಲ್ಲಿ ಇದ್ದಾನೆ, ಕೈ ತುಂಬಾ ಸಂಬಳ.

45)ದೆವ್ವಾ ನು ಇಲ್ಲ ಭೂತಾ ನಾ ಇಲ್ಲ ಎಲ್ಲ ನಿನ್ ಭ್ರಮೆ ಅಷ್ಟೇ

46)ನನಿಗೆ ಒಂದು ತೊಟ್ಟು ವಿಷಾನದ್ರೂ ತಂದು ಕೊಡಿ….ನೆಮ್ಮದಿಯಿಂದ ಪ್ರಾಣ ಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ.

47)ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನ ನನ್ನ್ ತಂದೆ ತಾಯಿಯಾಗಿ ಪಡೆದಿರೋಕೆ ನಾನ್ ಅದೆಷ್ಟ್ ಜನುಮದ ಪುಣ್ಯ ಮಾಡಿದ್ದೇನೋ

48)ಸಾಹುಕಾರರೇ ಇನ್ನೊಂದ್ ತಿಂಗ್ಳು ಸಮಯ ಕೊಡಿ ನಿಮ್ಮ ಸಾಲದ ಜೊತೆ ಎಲ್ಲ ಬಡ್ದಿನು ತೀರಿಸ್‌ಬಿಡ್ತೀನಿ

49)ಸಾಹುಕಾರರೇ ನಾವು ಬಡವ್ರು ಇರಬಹುದು ಆದ್ರೆ ಅನ್ನ ತಿಂದ ದನಿಗೆ ದ್ರೋಹ ಬಗಿಯೂ ಜನ ಅಂತೂ ಅಲ್ಲ

50)ನಿಮ್ಮನ್ನೆಲ್ಲೋ ನೋಡಿದ್ದಿನಲ್ಲ

A typical Indian st(o)ory

India has a typical way how things happen or dont happen, it goes like this there is a service/product/thing which should be readily available and is very much needed to the people like say water,sand to build house,transport to different places etc etc now assume that such things dont exist at the place or there is no legal/proper mechanism to provide such things where they are not readily available, in such cases to fill this gap/void unorganized people or organized illegal entities step in and people get what they want now it so happens that these stop gap entities do things in shady way or do things at their own whims and cause more trouble to the people and they are of help and this goes on and on for years sometimes decades, finally the govt body think it should provide the services they were not available to the people before, so it tries to see the possibility of such a step but by this time, the arrangement which was supposed to be stop gap has become a big entity possibly with enough political clout and it sees the government or organized sector entry as a threat to its interests and you see protests and pressure tactics and the cry that somebody's job is being taken away, and the organized legal entry which is more convenient to the people either gets delayed or in many cases never reaches the people.

A very simple instance the above is the example of sand mafia, sand which is very essential to build houses should be provided by government at a price if not should be entrusted to private companies even if such a thing is done lot of people take sand illegally which should be stopped by the government, none of which has happened, so now there are lot of illegal entities possibly many political leaders or their ilk supplying sand, and this goes on unabated for years until there is public outcry for some wrongdoing now government out of public pressure wants to control the sand mafia but the sand mafia has grown into a big monster with political interest sitting on top of it, and the sand mafia is now a difficult entity of control. This is a typical story of our country, dont provide proper services to the people let an illegal entity to step in grow and flourish and become big and finally when there is a public outrage about it,act like your trying to do something and the illegal entity bites you back.Just another day in our country.

How to improve Kannada Film Industry

Five point formula to improve the Kannada Film Industry.

1) Ban Remakes & Revoke dubbing ban: If anything has to be banned its not Dubbing but remakes, the worst virus affecting KFI is the vast number of remakes that are done every year, if KFI really wants to draw back the audience and even expand the market base then remakes should be banned, I know its easier said than done, and if KFI doesnt have excellent writers to create new stories in that case copy from outside India and dont pay money(as a last option), isnt that what other film industries are doing and earning respect and money?

2)Movie promotion : The 2nd point that KFI should work hard on is promotions, tie up with companies,malls, brands, and promote the film to reach out to the youth, Producers pour so much money in a movie, but when it comes to promotions they hesitate, use Internet media aggressively.

3)Actors: Take actors who are apt for the character he plays, I have seen so many movies fail because the story revolves around the youth and the hero looks like worthless, it doesnt mean we should ape Hindi films where no matter when that character is the hero will always be good looking.

4)Home Video: Right now KFI treats the home video market as if its non existent which is so not the case, Movies release on DVD a year after the theatrical release? why so much delay? I say any movie should be released on DVD at the max 6 months from its release, if the film didnt do too well the sooner would be better. and for god sake keep the video clean, we are not interested in knowing the postal address or the video company name while watching a movie, dont act so desperate and spam the screen with rubbish.

5)Be democratic :Ask the people of the state what they want, hold seminars and ask selected audience to speak and know the pulse of the audience, be a little democratic and dont complain when the audience doesnt support your movie, get market research done from some reputed firm and act on it.

If KFI wants to survive it has to change, they should stop being so lazy and get shit scared with some language movie is released, KFI has taken its audience for granted, and if this continues then a few years down the line, KFI will be in even worse condition than it is already in, wake up KFI stop being complacent and get your act together.

P.S: For those people who use Dr Rajkumar's name every time there is a mention of dubbing and how he opposed it, for god sake decades have passed now shouldn't we re-think the strategy? since we can clearly see the KFI hasnt done as well as expected despite of the dubbing ban and besides if we are going to follow Dr Rajkumar's words even today, you think he would have like so many muchu longu movies and so many remakes that KFI does today?

My thoughts for those against dubbing

           We have been listening to the debates about dubbing in Kannada on TV and Social media and the various points that have been raised in these debates both for and against dubbing, those against dubbing are divided into two categories, first is so called intellectuals, who seem to give sensible reasons at the outset which after some thought seem unfounded, 2^nd group is from the commerce minded group of the film industry and the reason they give is wrt to the commercial aspects i.e., jobs/scope of work etc etc. So let us analyse the logic (or the lack of it) behind the people who are against dubbing.

      1) So called Intellectuals: 

                  Though the group is small, and points raised by this group might seem plausible at the outset but a little thought and you will realize that the so called intellectuals and their thoughts are either driven by  their ego or ignorance and the folly that most of these so called intellects  is that they consider themselves intelligent and all other as dumb and that somehow the common man has no intelligence to decide what’s good/bad for him.

Take the example of Beesu Suresh, the film-maker who has argued against dubbing, according to him, if we allow dubbing even in TV it’s like a virus and before you know Kannada language is lost forever, and the way he presents his argument seem sensible in the beginning (even I felt so), like he believes that dubbing is un-natural and it will destroy the sensibilities of Kannada and Kannadigas as we will have suit the language according to the lip movement of a different language. The argument might seem based in reason for some but further analysis leads you to realize that it’s totally unfounded, for that you have ask the question: where is the proof?, dubbing of non-local language movies have been going on in many European countries and in many other parts of the world, can Mr Beesu Suresh give any proof where the sensibilities of locals has been lost/destroyed by dubbing? Its been more that 50yrs in many countries since dubbing has been allowed surely we would know the ill effects of dubbing at least now, in fact in many countries dubbing is used as a tool to promote local language, does Mr Suresh have any answer to this, he seems to be driven by his ego and ignorance rather than facts and reason. Another reason given is that it will be imposition of other cultures on ours, seriously this is a flawed argument, first of all how different is the culture of different languages in our country? Do people in Maharashtra or any other state follow something that’s totally against Kannada culture? This argument falls flat in the Indian context, but yes if we look at foreign movies then there is some concern about it, which can be addressed easily by censor board which is already doing that.

      2) Commercial elements in KFI: 

                  The second group has been arguing that if we allow dubbing into Kannada what will the thousands of people who are dependent on KFI do for a living, and that we will lose all our jobs and it will mean the end of KFI, and whenever possible they give the example of matinee idol Dr Rajkumar and how we have follow his footsteps as he was against dubbing.

 Let us analyse each point here, the first argument is about loss of job because of dubbing, and yes there is truth in his point, but what needs to be seen is whether interest of group of people is bigger than the interest of the whole, because we all know the state of Kannada in Karnataka today, people are drifting away from Kannada and leaning other languages, in fact most middle class and a majority of upper middle class converses in English, for them speaking Kannada is uncool and down market, any Kannadiga can tell you that the language and number of speaker is in decline, so by allowing dubbing movies and TV channels we will at least make people listen to the language there by keeping Kannada in our minds, and yes by allowing dubbing it will impact the Kannada entertainment industry, but that’s the necessity of today, if we want to save Kannada then we have to take harsh measures, and if we think like some narrow minded people in the industry then Kannada will soon remain in book and not in conversations, and without Kannada there will be no KFI either, if Kannada is saved KFI can be remade.

The common point that people of KFI talk about is how Dr Rajkumar was opposed to dubbing and that allowing dubbing now is going against his wishes, wow this seems ridiculous since people of KFI have forgotten what Dr Rajkumar stood for , for instance Dr.Rajkumar never acted in any other language except Kannada, so does that mean Kannada actors who act in other languages are going against Dr Raj’s ideals? Also would Annavru have wanted KFI to produce so many machchu longu movies and worse remake so many movies from other languages? Anybody who knows the legend would agree that all that KFI is doing is going against his ideals, and let’s not forget the reason behind Dr Raj’s decision to support dubbing ban, it was time to build Kannada film industry, which so much dependent on Madras at that time(sadly it still is as far as production post production goes), it was time of establishing a Kannada identity, the ban on dubbing was justified then, but it’s been 50yrs surely it’s a time to rethink about the decision take decades back, and believe me it will not the an insult to the legends, the legends would not have envisioned that KFI would become still water, but would have thought of it as a flowing river. So KFI stop using names of legends for advance your selfish motives, you had enough time to build a flourishing industry you failed, its time to do something different.

            Nobody who supports dubbing is against Kannada Films/Entertainment industry in fact Kannadigas want KFI to grow and reach to the level it so very well deserves; but it’s just that we see a bigger picture especially on the real threat to Kannada language than those who are against dubbing who are blinded either by the money aspect or some irrational threat to culture/language that dubbing will supposedly cause, shortsightedness won’t help instead we have to accept the challenges and take competition head on, I have faith in Kannada talent, we are very open minded people we accept all people and cultures in all other spheres of society, which is sadly lacking in many other Indian states, we should stop acting like we are scared about anything and accept the challenges that we Kannadigas and Kannada face today, and if we do if not today or tomorrow then some day in the future will keep our heads high and keep Kannada flying higher.

Cultural Divorcity

The tag line or should I say defining phrase of this country since Independence has been ‘Unity in Diversity’.We Indians have felt proud about the diversity that we find in our country,be it about languages,religion,beliefs,colour,ethnicities you name it and this country has it,if at all United Nations was formed with just Indians from diverse backgrounds it would still represent the world is my belief. The diversity of India has amazed the world and it still sees it in awe and respect,and this not a recent phenomenon like say United States where there is diversity which is not as much of the spectrum as you see in India,but diversity in India is as old as human history itself and so is its ‘Unity in Diversity’ .

What amazes about the diversity more; is that, India for thousands of years has been attacked by Invaders and the British, the two outsiders with whom India has had a tough time dealing with, Invaders came to this country to destroy the culture, religions, heritage and loot the riches and abuse the natives, they did succeed partially in doing so, which I would see as the dark times of our civilization and not just as a country. The britishers too did the same thing,but at some times were a little more civilized than the savage Invaders,despite this still they both became assimalated with this culture and adopted its ethos.

So what makes India, India is the diversity and sustainance of this diverstiy for thousands of years and seeing oneness in everything despite the differences has been the hallmark of the people for ages. Sadly thats not the case anymore, since Independence in 1947 instead of acknowledgeing that it as a mainstay of the identity of this country, we have started to despise this diversity and even shed our own diversity to be more accepted, this holds more for langauges,the beauty of this country lies in the number of languages and various dialects and the variations in those languages from region to region. India after independence adopted a language based policy for the division of its various provinces and princely states, meaning a majority of people who spoke a particular language were part of a state which had that as the offocial language of that particular state, this was a great decision to protect the linguical identity of the people and thus maintain the diversity,but everything went downhill from here.

It is true that India needs a common language, but should this be at the cost of other languages? Is one language more important than another? If not then why is one language forced upon others.

The Problems:

1) The policies of the government and those in power haves been hostile to other languages,even the attitude of majority is condescending to the rest,for example North Indians have no respect to southern languages or Marathi/Konkani/Gujarati whenever a North Indian comes to southern states seldom do you see them showing interest in the local language or culture,and its just not ignorning, a lot of times you see them mocking the local culture and the locals in general,even after staying for 4 or 5 years say in Bengaluru they won’t learn a word of Kannada,but a Kannadiga is expected to learn Hindi else he/she is branded as un-indian,unpartiotic etc etc.Coming to a different state it’s the duty of the person who is an outsider to learn thelocal  language to mix up with the locals,this never happens and this creates an imbalance in the society much to the chagrin of the locals who start blaming the outsiders for destroying local culture.

2) Large scale migration of work-force from one-state to another is also a reason for the social imbalance that we find today, Workers both skilled and unskilled are coming to cities which have huge job opportunities like Mumbai, Bengaluru, Pune, Hyderabad, Chennai from the North, yes they have constitutional right to be anywhere in this country just like any other Indian, but is such a migration so far away from their homes a good development? Many of them have to travel 2-3 days by train to reach their homes, doesn’t anybody see something wrong with this?  Why cant there be job opportunities in UP/Bihar or any other state from where large scale worker migration happens to other distant states.

3) Even in South Indian context  the problem exists, someone from a southern state coming to Karnataka speaks English and makes little effort to learn Kannada,but when a kannadiga goes to a neighbouring southern state he/she will feel like fish out of water as every local will mainly speak and reply to you in their language even if they know a common language like English(although things might be changing slowly in other states too),this is also a major cause of concern as it pertains to the attitude of people and that particular society,this shows the dominating attitude of some languages by way of refusal to learn the local language when in other state at the same time expecting everybody to know their local language the day you arrive in that state.

4) A problem specific to Kannada is that its own people have discarded the language because its apparently ‘uncool’ to speak Kannada, and a majority of the Upper middle class and Upper class have stopped speaking Kannada and opted for English at their homes, such a problem is not so prevalent in other states where no matter what your social status is, people speak their Mother Tounge, then why Kannadigas are abandoning their own language? Just because it is apparently ‘uncool’ to speak it? How is a language cool or uncool? Who decides it? If you look closely the reason a person finds it uncool to speak a particular language, there are many reasons for this, one is no pride attached to the language, but Kannada history and culture is very rich then why is there no pride among Kannadigas? Because in our schools since childhood we are not been fed stories about our glorious past like some neighboring states do, whether its true or not, Gloating about ones language like it’s the only one in the world does help in getting attached to ones language and you are made to feel that this is the language so and so person fought and gave life for or this is the language that so and so King spoke and spoke highly of. second is the Kannada Film Industry has lost the trust of an average Kannadiga, to the extent that even if there is good movie produced in Kannada a lot of Kannadigas will not even check it out cause it’s been somehow established that Kannada movies are un-cool funnily crappy movies from other languages are considered cool(better marketing  maybe).Also those Kannadigas who have settled in other states the 2^nd and 3^rd generation of them does not speak Kannada at their homes they have adopted the local language and have totally fogotten Kannada,this never happens with Non-Kannadiga people who stay in states that are not their own,even the 10^th generation speaks their mother tounge at home and among relatives. The bigger problem is we Kannadigas are dominatable, when a kannadiga girl marries into an non Kannadiga household it’s highly likely that she will adopt their language as her own and forget about her mother tongue.

The Solutions:

Since the problem itself is extremely complicated and sensitive the solution is even more so,but this cannot go on,first we have to acknowledge that this is major problem which India faces today that its diversity is under threat and if we don’t act now many of our beautiful languages will end up like mother of all languages Sanskrit, a report by UNESCO a few years ago about World languages had reported that many of the Indian languages will be extinct in 20-30 years from now,so in such a case say in 2030 AD can India still claim ‘Unity in Diversity’? especially when there will be no diversity with 3 or 4 languages ruling instead of the hundreds today. Will India not become just another country like every other one today? What will be special about us if we will systematically kill the diversities?

So here are some solutions that I think will be helpful in tackling the problems the problems 1-4 will have solutions 1 -4

      1) This problem is about the attitude of the governments and the people,this has to change everybody should respect and treat every other Indian language as their own, for the attitudes to change the people in power should recognize that non-Hindi speaking population are doing their bit to learn Hindi for the common good viz communication and most have realized that Hindi along with English is the common language that all should learn and speak,the same way Hindi-speaking population should learn atleast one other Indian language preferably any  of south Indain languages in their schools seriously,this way not only will it help them when they visit to that particular state but it will also help bridge the gap that exists between North and the South giving a better understanding of fellow Indians,and South Indians will feel more secure that their languages are being given the respect and seriousness that they  so rightly deserve. Is it too much to ask non-locals to be part of a culture that is not their own? Isn’t it UnIndian to treat other languages in contempt? I mean outsiders enjoy the benefits of working in other states, they get everything that the locals do so what’s the harm in learning a language and to some extent the culture?, Also its been scientifically proved by research that learning an extra language helps your brain power,so it’s a win win situation.

      2) The second problem is about large scale migration to distant states, this should be avoided by developing each state even the BIMARU states so that local youth don’t have to travel thousands of kilometeres just to earn a few thousands, there have been many instances where in, the father as a laborer is working in a distant state and he visits his home once in six months or 1 year where his kid is growing without a father this creates a problem in the upbringing of that child. Everytime people of a state show opposition to outsiders the usual retort by outsiders is that the constitution of India permits every Indian to go anwyehere he/she wishes,true and very rightly so, but its just not about that, is it reccomendable that a person leave his family and home and come only once in 6 months are so? No. So thinking constituionally alone is not enough we have think considering other parameters too.

      3) The 3^rd problem is specific to south India, people travelling from one south indian state to another specially to Karnataka and staying here for long periods and still not learning a thing about the language share the same attitude as that of North Indians,this is not cool for the diversity that we speak about nor to the unity which we feel exists,so in such cases private companies which hire outsiders should under corporate/social responsibility train them in the local language atleast the basics so that whenever they go into a shop or market they wont face any problem and this way locals will feel that their culture is not under threat.

      4) The fourth problem I have discussed is specifically related to Kannadigas,if today Kannada is getting vanished from Bengaluru the major culprits are us Kannadigas,we don’t respect our own language and think its uncool and speak in English,why this obsession with English? Kannada is older than English and a lot of Indian languages, infact its amongst the oldest, so we should be proud of the language the culture of the state,if this does not happen then blaming outsiders for everything is futile. Secondly a language is cool or uncool based unfortunately on popular culture, Hindi films were considered 2^nd grade in 90’s and since 2000 a lot has changed and those people who only saw Hollywood and European cinema are now watching Hindi movies frequently Hindi movies are no longer uncool, how? Because Bollywood started producing good movies(in terms of production quality and presentation), so Kannada Film Industry should take it as a responsibility to make movies that not only touch Kannadigas but also non Kannadiga, this takes you closer to the language, also songs play a major role. A language which produces great songs reaches beyond the language and propagates a language to other language people also, I have seen a lot of my friends learning other south indian languages just by watching their movies,so using soft power to attract Kannadigas and alike is the long term solution. Popular culture has major role to play in terms of helping a language grow and be more visible. Last but not the least the protectionism that has made Kannada Film Industry(KFI) seem worthless on the national stage should  be discouraged, especially in the case of allowing dubbing content from other language into Kannada, sure it will eat into KFI market in the short term but if we look at the long term then dubbing will only help Kannada reach the audience it deserves and with more Kannada aware Kannadigas it will benefit KFI also.

Things we so readily accept

Have you ever seen an Engineer or for that matter any employee of any company printing out pamphlets and advertising in his/her company that he/she did a particular thing for the company? NO right? cause thats part of the job thats supposed to be your duty as an employee, you cant boast about something that is your basic duty if you do something beyond the call of duty then only it deserves some praise, but that too from others not from you, else it would be called narcissistic. But take the case of politicians, when you walk down a road, any road in any city of this country, you will find hoardings put up by different politicians with a big photo of theirs saying they are sanctioning so and so road repair work, sanctioned so and so drinking water project, but as I said earlier isn't this the basic duty of a leader/politicians I mean isn't that the reason why they are democratically elected in the first place? then why advertise as if they are going beyond the call of their duty and doing something for the public, when in fact they have done and still doing so little, if we go back to the comparison with other employees, if we behaved like politicians we would do only 1% of our basic duty and that too shabbily and put posters of ourselves all over the company that we have done so and so. How on earth do we accept such ridiculous practices from our great leaders is beyond me.

If India had invaded England first???

Imagine if India had invaded other countries like say England even before England invaded us, what would happen to the

names of the cities in UK, obviously not being able to pronounce English names we would have changed to suit our tounge

like the British did to our cities, many of which we even use till date.

So here is a list of few cities and how we might have called them.



Birmingham - Bramhagaon


Manchester - Manuchestara


Leeds - Leedpur


Glasgow - Glaasgaavi


Edinburgh - Eddinadurga


London - Londhaam


Liverpool - Livaarpur


Bristol - Bristuru


Lancashire - Lankashehar


Sunderland - Sundarakaanda


On a serious note, I dont think we Indians would have changed any name of any city, I am sure we would have learnt to pronounce them the way locals do, unlike the Britishers who couldnt pronounce even the simple sounding names of Indian cities.

What if?

How much great it would be if there was a 24hr dedicated information and investigative TV channel which helps people, like if any common is facing any problem from any govt official/department to get his/her work done as per law, the common man can contact this channel and the channel will accompany with a camera crew film his experience at the govt office and put it for the world to see, first everyone knows that everyone behaves differently when they know someone is watching them,and of that someone is the whole nation they definitely would desist from corruption atleast as long as they are on camera, I know they might turn back to corruption once they get off the camera but the point is instill a sense of fear in public servants that the common man is not hopeless but he has a voice which can turn into a roar which the whole country can hear, I just think that this would be a great idea, why nobody has tried something like this, no prizes for guessing everybody knows why.

Mind: Lost/Found

Mind: Lost/Found



My mind met with an accident
and both of them ran away
i told my friends about the elope
my friends said 'man have you lost your mind?'


i tried to give a police complaint about my mind
the police asked for proof that it existed
told them that my screwed up life was the proof
my mind is a fugitive on the run, they'll catch it soon

its been a week that i lost my mind
still no word from my beloved friend
now i have doubts if it was an elope or a kidnap
my mind can't do anything interesting to elope i felt


couple of days later i finally got a call asking for ransom
it was my ego that had kidnapped my mind
and in lieu of my mind all it asked was me and my life
i laughed and told my ego i am you, you are me


P.S: Since I got my mind back, i am feeling that my mind has developed a kind of Stockholm syndrome with my ego, I am yet to take revenge from my ego, it messed with me, I am gonna hurt its ego now.

Horror movie cliches

Is it just me or there is absolutely no horror movie with normal thinking people in it? i mean why do horror have utterly stupid,dumb idiots? just because to progress a story which would fall flat if the characters acted smart at the very beginning?, i have seen a lot of horror movies and none have characters with basic IQ values, i dont expect geniuses in a horror movie but cmon, i know some people may call me sick for saying this but watching all that stupidity engulf the screen, now whenever i watch a horror movie i have started to feel that maybe these dumb idiots deserved to die(is that sick to think of?).

Also every horror movie has to happen in a big fu**ing house with 20 rooms at least,why cant someone shoot a horror movie in a one room house?
When any freaky things happen people get alerted but not in a lot of horror movies they act like nothing has happened, it might sound childish but how about when you feel something is going to happen a particular night call a lot friends on a party with people roaming everywhere in the house(lol) just to throw the ghost off its plan

I know the ultimate aim of a horror movie is to scare people and all the above act against that very purpose, but I am sick of the cliches that horror movies offer.

P.S: now thats some rant but seriously off late i am getting furious watching horror movies, for once cant someone make a horror movie which is challenging and not just scary, where a character challenges the ghost with intelligence and smartness and the gives the ghost some homework to do before it does its job of whatever it does?

Shit Indian Politicians Say.

I saw many videos on youtube recently like Shit Guys say or Shit girl say etc etc which made me think why not write something about our beloved politicians who are nothing but a load of cliche in every way, I cant make a video(I wish I could),so here are some of the stuff I hear from Indian politicians so much that its annoyingly trite,read on.


Shit Indian Politicians Say



1) I have not seen the report in its totality, I will comment once I see the report
2) The matter is subjudice, I cant comment on this issue
2) Let the law take its own course
3) We condemn this as a brutal act of terrorism
4) The government has failed on all fronts
5)The government has lost all its credibility, the prime minister should step down immediately
6) Arnaub Arnaub, let me speak let me speak
7)My dear friend from the opposition should know that
8)This has been done to tarnish my image
9)I see an external hand behind all this
10)Vote for us
11) I am innocent
12) I have done nothing wrong
13) There is no question of me stepping down
14)We demand a CBI probe into this incident
15)Vote
16)Vote for us
17) The government has no constitutional authority to continue
18)Its a black spot on democracy
19) Constitution cannot be written on the streets
20) The communal forces are behind this
21)We are staging a walk out in protest
22)A investigation committee has be constituted and it will submit its report soon
23)Vote for us
24)All the allegations leveled against me are totally baseless
25)There is not a shred of truth in the opposition's allegations
26)The perpetrators of this heinous crime will not be spared
27)Anna Hazare cannot blackmail the constitutional practices
28)Vote for us, we will eradicate poverty
29)We will give you TV sets, Clothes, bicycles
30)If voted to power we will
31)A unanimous decision has been taken
32) The talks have been unproductive, we will be meeting again.
33) Arnaub Aurnauub let me finish let me finish first.
34) Madam will take a decision regarding the matter
35) Our main agenda is development.
36)Coalition dharma demands us to do this.
37) We will win all the seats in this election
38)Booze has flowed like water in the election from the other side
39) The MLA's have been shifted to a resort in Goa to avoid horse trading.
40)Our support to the government is only on conditional basis
41)We have lost a great leader, he was a honest and able politician.
42)We are supporting the government from outside.
43) we have met the governor/President and given out letter of support to him.
44)He was a leader of the masses.
45)I cant believe that the opposition can stoop so low
46)We are just following what previous government policy was.
47)Price rise is being taken seriously, we will see to it that the common man does not bear the burnt.
48)The budget is a total waste of money, we demand the resignation of the fin minister.
49)This is best budget ever, we congratulate the finance minister for such a pro-people budget.
50)We accept the people's mandate and respect it.

Ran Tho

India in a way is a communist nation, at the outset it has a democratic setup and calls itself a democracy but if you look deeper you see patterns of communism in this country, for ex India has different states which are ruled by respective state governments which in turn report to the centre, each state has its own budget depending on budget at the centre and each state has its own election, so people of respective states vote for their local government, now take the case of Karnataka, people of the state elect their government democratically, the government implements particular policies for the people who voted for them, but as per the constitution of our country any citizen can travel anywhere and work, so say a person from UP/Bihar comes to Karnataka constitutionally it might not seem wrong, but logically he has not stake in the elected democratically functional government of Karnataka but he reaps the benefits of the locals having elected a progress oriented government while the people who voted for a good government might not even get the benefits of the policies of the government they so rightly elected, There is no motivation for guy from UP/Bihar/Tamil Nadu/AP etc etc to elect a progress govt in his own state, cause he knows that even if the govt he elected in incompetent and doesnt give a damn about development and jobs there are already government in Karnataka/Maharashtra/Gujarat etc where he will definitely get a job. so isnt this in away a kind of communism i.e., immaterial of the govt I elect even if it is incompetent I will still reap the benefits of good governance elsewhere and at the same time immaterial of the good govt I elect here in Karnataka I probably will not reap the benefits of it cause somebody from some other state has got a job and I dont, if this is not communism then what is?

The simple solution is reserve some percentage of jobs say 50% or 60% at the minimum for locals of any state, this way the people who were responsible for good governance will at least reap some benefits of their actions, this way other state people where there is a incompetent govt will feel motivated to elect a govt which focuses on their problems, this way other states will create more jobs and on the whole the country progresses, this irresponsible behavior of some states thinking some other state will create jobs for citizens of other state neglecting the native people is leech mindset, it should not be encouraged.

We are dumb(sometimes dumber)

the other day i was wondering if all the politicians are dumb for accumulating so much wealth in the tunes of thousands of crores, I was finding it amusing and sick that shit holes dont know even know so much money is of no use when you cant spend it, i went on a couple of days and it later hit me, they are not dumb as much as we are(the public), cause a politician knows he wont be needing all that money for himself but to create an imbalance in the society, if everybody has money the politicians are fucked to their graves, who will listen to their promises who will want their false hope except themselves? and we go on shitting happily how much a particular politician has accumulated money as if its an achievement, Shame on us.

Upcoming Blockbuster

The 2G Scam is so 2010, India deserves a better,updated and fresh scam, and in the anticipation of the scam which has so happened already but not yet out,The 3G Spectrum Scam in short 3G(remember the controversy surrounding 3G allocation and the constant delays) ,here is the synopsis about it.

Production : Congress Prodctions in association with UPA Productions financed by 'We,The People' Productions.

After successfuly brining you their previous blockbusters such as 2G and CWG and much loved classics such as Bofors we proudly present our new venture a sequel to the blockbuster 2G-The Scam, this time bigger budget(to loot),bigger cast.

Title: '3G'(Punch Line: Uncle Scam wants you, alternate punch line: Scam or Sham who gives a damn)

Plot: The story is as usual, run of the mill story of this nation,A loots B,B loots C,C loots D,D loots E so on and so forth, not a new story but still the people will relate to it,eventhough there will be a deja vu feeling with the story,common man's lethargy will rule the day paving way for many more sequels.

Genre: Horror/Drama/Crime/Suspense/Thriller/Comedy/Action

Directed by : Laziness and and sab kuch chalta hai attitude of the common man.

Music by : Cacophony of crows,pigs,dogs and wails of people crying in despair

Stunts/Action : None from the common man to stop it.

Cast: Politicians,Common man in short You,me,We,Us everybody.

Release date : Coming soon to a misery near you.

tERRORist

even the word terrorist screams error.

Nothing can justify violence,nothing can justify any amount of justification to pain by any means.


tERRORist

Bullets ripping through the air

pain and scream loud in despair

blood spilled out everywhere

humanity in distress,but do we care?

these times are tough to say the least

for some people, killing innocents is a feast

terror raises its ugly head, dances like a beast

as terrorism makes itself felt, north, south, west and east

what do they achieve by depriving somebody their life?

how long will we let religions keep humanity in strife?

terror,insecurity,fear,perplexity are in rife

nukes,missiles.bombs,grenades,guns,knife

lets pledge to deal with terror and its creators firmly

cause its never too late to set things in order, its now

Soon we will see light at the end of the tunnel, maybe a single ray

the same light that will light the lives of the coming generations.

-aham

Another Thought

Another thought dispersed
Another word scattered
Silence Whispered
Dreams butchered
the worst,yet to come
the best,slipped thru fingers
Truth murdered
Happiness withered
Emotions smothered
Angels bothered

Life is stranger than fiction
you see we are the authors anyway.

What do you think?

when something is new to us say a new person, a new movie, a new book anything that we have not known and we hear about these them from people, and whatever these people say actually has a lot of effect on how we perceive them, for instance there is this movie you have heard from somewhere and you check its imdb page and see its rated say at 8.3/10 or you hear about how good it is from a friend and you go on to watch the movie, i am pretty much sure that you will like the movie more than what you would have liked without you knowing anything about the movie, and you randomly saw it, the same applies if there is a negative sentiment about the movie, even though I am saying this to a movie you can as well apply this to when you know a new person, or anythign you have encountered before, you might say I am extending the adage 'First impression is the last impression' well in a way yes, but thats important is why have your though process influenced by anything like this? I would rather watch a movie I dont want to hear a thing about the how good/bad it is, I jus watch it and later check the rating to see if it matches mine or not, I dunno if this has made much sense but all I am trying to say is that we are much more influenced by opinions than we think we are and most of the times it might be counter-productive, what fo you guys think?

Trying

What do you do, when you see your dreams shattered when you feel the whole world crumbling down?? what do you do when you fail miserably and what do you usually do when it gets off your limits, well the standard answer that I get from myself and many others is that 'I Tried', heck you did cause nothing happens without you or somebody else trying so why state the obvious then you may ask, cause simply thats the truth, I dunno if this is making sense but the 'I Tried' is the only sane thing that you can make out of all the mess and chaos that you have put yourself in, and 'I Tried' is the closest thing before the result that you can say safely and feel good that you did something, so its always 'I Tried' that people talk about, well I know its not making much sense what I have written so again I will say, heck 'I Tried'

:|

Of Emraan Hashmi and Salman Khan

Well well well, here I go again getting into my cussing shoes, for two most distinguished actors(supposedly), Mr Serial Kisser(Puker) Emraan _______ Hashmi(I hope he knows whats in the blank poor chap) and Mr Salmaan Khan(I hope the Mr prefix is correct too). The reason for my hatred with these two people is simple, they are absolutely overrated by the public, lets take these idiots one by one first lets start with the lesser overrated one, Mr Emraan Flush-me.

Mr Flush-me is the top 2nd over rated actor in Hindi film industry today, if you look back none of this losers films have ever been a hit(for true cinema lovers who dont but for story and other things care for a hit neither have they been any close to good), and if you observe closely enough you will also see that they have been popular musically, almost all of Emraan's films have been huge hits musically. Well if you ask me I see something weird here, how is it possible that almost every other movie can be so crap in terms of performances and story and everything except the songs? I dont know if many people believe what I do, that Mr Flush-me uses a simple trick before he signs a movie, he listens to the music and the songs of the movies he signs(and who the heck produces them another horrible xerox machine and pseudo intellect Mr Mahesh Bhatt), I dont see any coincidence as to why they have to be so horribly horribly bad and yet their songs can be good, dont you think its quite possible, I mean its quite possible that Flush-me knows that nobody comes to his films for HIS acting(for f*** sake accept it that nobody goes to his movies to watch HIM but to watch sleaze and the heroines). I dont even understand why, his movies have to have a pakistani singer every time?, why cant these guys promote Indian singers(is there any dearth for talent in India?) I mean why promote singers from a country which doesnt allow our singers/movies in their country? well many people might think I am prejudiced in writing this, heck if at all I am thank God I am.

Now coming to the loser par excellence Mr Sell-Maan Khan, well this guy is extraordinarily mediocre and absolutely lacks brains(yeah you would say which Khan has brains except Aamir ans Shahrukh[in a way] ), the truth is Mr Sell Maan has never done anything that deserves any praise absolutely nothing, thick guy seriously lacks basic intelligence. Like Flush-me his films have good songs but horrible acting and story(cmon dont cite examples saying for instance Partner was good it was total rip off of Hitch so lets not get into that cause the more we do the more you will know that none of his films were good), and talking about Andaaz Apna Apna, he has not acted in that movie but he had to play himself I mean he didnt have to act he wasjust told to be himsef in that movie :P, I agree though that Maine Pyaar kiya was ok but this loser has never done any cinema which jolted/inspired the audience, for instance being long Aamir has done some brilliant movies and Shahrukh a few too but Shell-man(cuz he is hollow) jus took off his shirt and did crap movies with horrible acting, and about his off screen image and behavior lets not delve into that, everybody knows about his loser.

So if you are a Salman or Hashmi fan post hate comments(what more can I expect from fans of stars who themselves lack brains?) and if you have logic/reasoning/intelligence I dont have to tell you what to write :P

Customer Care of the Govt of India

I know the first thing that comes to the mind after seeing the post title is whats new in such a thing, well yes its nothing as to what I am talking about, but even then its a lot different, well let me elaborate, When I talk about Customer Care of Govt of India it means having a centralized and common customer care to redress the issues concerning common people, I know right now Railways have a customer care of their own(which i terrible since it takes forever to reach to what you want), and other depts have online communication through mail, but when I say Customer care it means, whenever we i.e., the common man face any problem regarding any service that the government provides, or we have a complaint regarding anything related to the government or we are unhappy about anything we can directly call a Govt Customer Care(GCC), its like this for example the other day I was traveling to a particular place and in the middle of the road a Bamboo tree had fallen obstructing almost 7o% of the road, and this was hindering the traffic the fact that nobody was doing nothing about this except use their best driving abilities to manoeuvre around the tree on the road rather than doing something to solve the problem i.e., get the tree from the road, then I thought why is this happening? I mean there is a forest check post just 20 metres from this spot(which obviously is closed) still the tree lies there in the middle of the road, then I thought well the public cant do much even if they wanted to, whom are they gonna complain? where is the mode/channel of with the concerned Govt authorities? . All this led me to an idea that, why not have a GCC? I mean cell phone companies have it and we know the advantage of such a thing then why not the same with the Govt? I know it may not sound too tempting but believe me its not just about filing a grievance but when we do that we are actually registering a complaint which can be traced back at a later date and a responsibilty put on the Govt regarding a particular issue, this will help problem getting solved in a easier.